||[07 Aug 2005|02:53am]
" I'm going to fucking Explode! "
...All this shit at once [brain swelling]...
Final Fantasy VII is my favorie game in the whole Earl!
And finally the movie that Square has been making for so long
finally has a date to arrive, September 13th "Final Fantasy: Advent children"
uuugggh,[can't take this pain]also i got a new camera, but dont envy me it's just
an "Argus" it's hella old but i do have filters for it and it'll make for
interesting photo's [grimey and hopefully there's holes in it] und also "burzum's"
been attacking me latly as well as "Hanzel und Gretyl", "Gazette", "Rasputina",
"dir en grey" and " re-found
final fantasy scores: "Final Fantasy 7 - One Winged Angel (Sephiroth Choir)"
oh god... music a fucking narcotic!!! but still i continue this binge of self-destrution but this time it's different...it's w/out drugs it's with Emotions and Beleifs.
ACTUALLY JUST LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU...
Emotions:i dont know my true emotions or wants out of life.
Beleifs: Baptized, born and raised as a Catholic, i was forced to morn and love christ.
But as i grew out of the "fear" of thinking, acting and fantasyzing about things that lead to hell i found "a whole new world" just like the song, i started thinking more realisticly and having control of my own life. growing up Catholic causes a stong rebellion at my past age [13/17] and i did all to do so.photography, writing, drawings and yelling stupid shit like "Heil Hitler" w/out knowing that much about him. i did it because he was "taboo" i remember getting into trouble for drawing swazticas on shit in my room and clothes when i was a kid, "no thats BAD!!" and thats all they would say, no reason why except for "he's bad" ...uh okay just make me want to do it more, god even other kids got the whole "he killed woman and children" speil or "he'd kill you if he was alive"...[LOL]
What was "taboo" was intriguing as hell! and then came "lucifer" ahhhhhhh i love lucifer, im no "Satanist" and i dont think i whorship the devil...but what captivates me is how Taboo and tainted his name is. just the looks and sudden change of Emotion you get for uttering his name. [my semi-goal in life is to get "noapokoni" to reach that level,well at least for a decade.] and for that reason i am completly obessed
with lucifer [such a beautiful name] as well as the third reich...
[leading into another post now...]
one day after finally incountering a person who told me off on hitler and how i should learn about him and what he did.... i did.
after reading and watching and hearing and learning and became smart enouf to over look the holocaust [and yes it was awful and inhumane] i found the third reich to be very interesting.
Germany was at the height of it's depression and had no brightness in their future. then you know who got them out of it by telling them half: what they wanted to hear and what they wanted to fear. hitler grew to power and thus the third reich was born...very bad for the non-aryan but...what a fucking life for those who were aryan. to me it was an old country again, full of reason and control. life under a king so to speak. control and partial freedom is such a more concievable way of life, [depending on whos the fuer]hitler was racist but he was such a great leader. he created the most feared army in the world, he made the bond of the people and their country so strong and he wanted his people to florish and live forever so the tradition can live on, if you take out the genocide, the Third Reich was a great country, aware and supported of their race and traditions and youth. you may call them selfish but think of it as your own family and you dont want anything bad to happen to them, you want them to trive and be healthy and all you care is about them and thats why you put them first. but the reich was critized for there politicly incorrect policys and way of life. one thing science has taught me is that "only the strong will survive and the weak will perish" and that may have just been the motto for the nazi's...they actually practiced that. oh my god i give them so much respect for that. we nor anyone else could do that. we are a stupid country who cares what everyone thinks and take every little fucking upset to heart, all people do is bitch and complain about shit and how their opinions should matter. fuck you asshole, your the selfish ones complaining about stupid shit, holding us back from advancing as a community and species, wasting our money on your tiffs ,always complaining about everything anybody dose! censorship, banning, peoples rights, suing me for my dog [who, lets not forget is an animal] for biting your cat, telling me i cant kill myself, being sentence by your flawed courts under your dated laws, stealing my money to pay for others to live (the obesed, retarded, addicts) your corporate greed and rigged elections, your the fucking nazi's you FUCK!!!
They would weed out family illness's such as: heartproblems, autism, mental disorders by preventing offspring. pretty much like we breed animals, we breed them for performence, beauty, strenght, maximum production and health. i see no problem in that with people. if i were asked to not produce children
to end an ongoing illness in my family and that it would benifet my race and species...i'd be bummed, but i'd agree to it. im not that selfish to prevent my race from thriving. our country could never do somthing as smart as that, plus were to busy wasting time caring for the mentaly retarded...im sorry but i see no reason why we dont kill them. they benifet society in no way all they do is make us feel uncomfortable and steal our money that we need. my own uncle is mentaly reatarded and i feel he is a burden to my family, i dont love him, he is a stranger to me. i'd rather be cleaning out a gutter then to feel uncomfertable around him.i dont feel evil for saying that either...i feel smart and educated enough to be able to differ certain feelings and reality, unlike others...and that sadens me, i feel alone and frustrated. and how easy it is to set me aside with my "outrageous" opinions and not even take them into consideration for the fact that they are politicly incorrect...i hope when you die at least someone let you realized how controlled you were and how simple it was to break from it.
I went over the mentaly retarded... now for the obesse. you filty creature you, i hate you, ill give you no respect. you have tainted your temple you call your body. you are disgusting and you have no reason to be alive, eating your self to death is slow and painful to all those around you. use a gun. and stop wasting our money so you can carry that disgusting body around.
re-entering the wonderful world of the third reich.
Germany realized how important their youth was to their future. they gave them the world (and if hitler would of listen to Rommel, he could have given then the world)but nothing was more important to them. and i feel thats the way to go. dont hide or censore the world, expose it to them gradually. let them be them selves but add that well needed deciplen.follow the tradition but let it advance.
[ the fashion of the THIRD REICH]
how fucking Beautifull! the fashion of the 1930's to the late 40's mixed with a little S&M. their uniform were fucking spectacular. und the uniforms of the ss... i feel like Kakihara from "ichi the killer" as i see it im overwelmed by the intimedation of the horror. so incredibly arouse by the boots,pants, flip hat and deathead but also scared for my life and how it can be taken away so quickly. the color scheme and contures of the uniform is amazing, but i'll admit i've never been a big fan of the whole red arm band with the swaztica on the uniforms, i found them to be rather tacky. (except for the white uniforms)
oh, god im fucking tired...it's 5:05 in the morning and my hate and excitement is dwindling...
fogive the spelling but im too tired to care...
more on what i think...uh later?